I suddenly feel OK.

Of course the answer was right there all along, staring me in the face.

"For God so loved the world that He gave." (John, 3:16).

And I don't mean this in a boring Christian episcopal, evangelical way.  John is describing an action, a course of action, for all of us to perform.

"For God so loved the world that He gave."

Almost one year ago, I made this promise.  I promised that no matter who or how I was, I would give as my expression of love.  I would be, for her, the ultimate expression of love.  For almost a year, that has been as a lover; and I have made a decidedly poor show of it.  But now is the opportunity to do it as a former lover, as an ex.  I am called upon to be selfless and pure without reward, to love for love's own sake.  And by God, I shall do it.