Self-Confidence

I guess that I wish we could still be friends.

I understand her point, that a relationship can't have two people with mental illness.  I understand how rough it can be to be around me, when everything is constantly on the edge of slipping into a chronic, painful madness.  I am, to put it bluntly, a depressing person to be around.

What I wish I could give her, or explain to her, is the fact that I actually have a deep faith in myself.  I know that I will continue to struggle with my problems, but I refuse to give up.  It's a powerful force in my life.  It has kept me alive despite everything that has happened, or will happen, to me.

It's a strange confidence, but a sustaining one.  And - I know that I myself need a partner who can also have that faith in me.  It's a tall order.

But a necessary one.